A Smooth Criminal
by LatentExpression
Summary: Hey, its better than that stupid Megaman power-up from Chop Till You Drop. Please review, I'd love to hear your highly-valued opinion, even if its downright laughter or even if you don't get it. *wink* Just some light hearted fun with a short idea.


Frank West was the leading cause of zombie genocide. Stacking up at least 50,000 kills over the past three days, he had an impressive record at this and saving survivors from a number of ridiculous situations. But for once in his life, he was scared shitless as a fully-armored tank charged over the distance with a theater of zombies parading around it. At the top was Brock Samson, a bald Special Forces agent who had plotted all of the mischief and chaos here at the mall today, a member of those respnsible for the Santa Cabeza Incident and now the Williamette Incident. He didn't plan to let Frank leave, not with Isabella who hadn't been infected yet, though he probably didn't plan to let either of them live regardless. The tank had been automated moments before, and he had whittled away the plating with a machine gun turret on the back of their jeep. But now Isabella was unconscious following their crash, and the zombies were getting closer, with Brock and the tank's main barrel lined straight at him.

Without thinking, because he already stood less of a chance against the tank with no more than a few handguns in his inventory, he leapt onto the tank and uppercutted Brock. The agent, unlike the zombies or the psychopaths he had faced, stood still and took the blow with a scowl, snatching Frank's shoulder and forcing him face first into the side of the tank. Blood running down his temple, he tried to concentrate as Brock's military irons splintered his spine and sent waves of hot lightning down on his pelvis, running through his body. Things appeared to be going very wrong, and somehow, he realized that he was going to die here...at the hands of this bastard...

That would have been the case, however, if Brock hadn't turned at the last second, commanding the tank's main gun to swivel around. Frank looked up to see what had distracted the agent to discover that nearly all of the zombies that had surrounded them were now gone, all the way to the other side of the expanse tunnel. What he saw was unimaginable, he couldn't fathom the light that emerged from behind the column walls of zombies that were still oncoming. They all appeared to freeze in place and had their gazes locked on something that was steadily getting closer.

Frank West, the man who had photographed three wars consecutively and had even experienced and thwarted a zombie insurgency soon to become apocalypse, couldn't believe what he was seeing.

A man dressed in a white colored get-up that looked like it had tiptoed out of a 1930s thrift shop, wearing shoes that glowed with prominence, prided forward with a fedora covering his face. Suddenly, the man shot forth one of his legs, exposing what appeared to be ripped fabric that became bright orange-red. He completed a series of moves like this, throwing limbs after limb in opposing directions until his entire suit had fallen off, revealing what had to be a custom tailor outfit that resembled a cross between a jacket and a vest, with pronounced black lines and white socks that illuminated his feet. He did many more poses, which appeared awkward yet precise as he wafted through the crowd of zombies who appeared to not be interested in sucking the flesh from the man's face. He threw an arm in their direction, spun in a really fast motion, and began jolting while the zombies shifted abruptly and started.

And for a reason that no photographer, scientist, Special Forces commander, or homeland security agent could conjure up, the man began to dance. And the zombies danced too, as if prompted by the sudden curtain of night sky that plagued the world around them before it settled in their senses. Isabela herself no longer was trapped by the zombies on top of the jeep, now there were more like fifty zombies, and they were all gathered around this one man, who proclaimed with the voice of a god to the world around them.

"Annie are you okay!?" he said to apparently no one in particular. Frank, Brock, and Isabela all looked at each other indifferently, purged of their previous hostilities to as to discover the gravity in this reality, if this reality even possessed such physics. Then, without warning, the man flashed his hands and spun a quarter to the air, where it disappeared. Frank could hear a tune begin to pick up in the night, though from where he couldn't tell because Brock's boot was still forced down on his throat and kept his neck in place. And then he did the last thing anyone would have predicted. He started to sing in an obviously supernatural voice that channeled throughout their surroundings chillingly.

"_It's close to miiiid-night!_

_And something evil's lurk-in' in the dark!_

_Under the moonlight,_

_You see a sight that almost stops your heart!_

_You try to scream!_

_But terror takes the sound before you make it,_

_You start to freeze!_

_As horror looks you right between the eyes,_

_You're paralyzed!_"

It was a catchy opening, West might have tapped to it were he not pinned. Brock scowled, the second verse began almost imminently.

"_Cause this is thriller_

_Thriller night!_

_And no one's gonna save you_

_From the beast about to strike!_

_You know it's thriller_

_Thriller night!_

_You're fighting for your life_

_Inside a killer_

_Thriller tonight, yeah!_"

Isabela watched as the zombies shuffled, perfectly in sync with the Strange Man who began to sing louder and louder, as if his voice was enough to spiral every last undead creature in the entire town into song and dance. Was that a cool super power or what, the ability to make everything around you dance? It sure seemed to be effective, because more and more zombies were gathering around him. What truly terrified her though was that as she moved closer, she saw that Frank and Brock were nowhere to be seen.

"_You hear the door slam,_

_And realize there's nowhere left to run!_

_You feel the cold hand,_

_And wonder if you'll ever see the sun!_

_You close your eyes,_

_And hope that this is just imagination!_

_Girl, but all the while!_

_You hear a creature creepin' up behind,_

_You're outta time!"_

The two were actually in the center of the crowd alongside, with stupid expressions on their faces as they broke into poses and spins and flips they didn't seem sure they could do, right alongside the Strange Man who merely continued the song merrily without waiting for their sluggish moves.

_"Cause this is thriller!_

_Thriller night_

_There ain't no second chance_

_Against the thing with the forty eyes, girl,_

_Thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_You're fighting for your life,_

_Inside a killer_

_Thriller tonight!_"

Isabela gasped in horror, watching Frank's skin turn a sickly gray. He wasn't alone, because Brock's eyes were glowing hot yellow.

"_Night creatures call  
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade  
There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time  
They're open wide!  
This is the end of your_ _life!_"

The zombies started raising their hands oddly, plunging back and forth while the Strange Man, Frank, and even Brock joined in. They were slaves to the entrancing tune.

_"They're out to get...you!_

_There's demons closing in on every side_

**Boom!**

_They will possess you,_

_Unless you change that number on your dial!_

_Now is the time_

_For you and I to cuddle close together, yeah!  
All through the night!_

_I'll save you from the terror on the screen_

_I'll make you see!"_

The man did a power spin and suddenly a white light absorbed him, he was back in his original mobster-style uniform and curtly nodded and tipped his fedora at her, adding a sly wink to the acknowledgement.

"_That this is thriller!_

_And share a_

_Thriller night!_

_'Cause I can thrill you more_

_Than any ghost would ever dare try!_

_Thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_So let me hold you tight_

_Killer, diller, chiller_

_Thriller here tonight!"_

And again, without any warning and in the midst of a complicated series of turns and leg yawns, the Strange Man leaned forward, at first almost as if he was bowing, but Isabela saw that Frank was silently still and Brock had attempted to perform the lean as well, as were all of the other zombies. They bent at an impossible angle, and only the Strange Man seemed to be comfortable. The zombies, however, all glowed blue and simultaneously detonated. Frank paused and broke from the line, collapsing on his back as Isabela dashed to his aid. Brock was the last one to glow, as the Strange Man miraculously retracted the lean that apparently caused instant obliteration if failed with a quick 360 degree spin that pushed him off the ground temporarily. All of the remaining zombies collapsed and died, while Brock continued to shriek with electricity in his veins.

"_Cause this is thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_Girl, I can thrill you more_

_Than any ghost would ever dare try!_

_Thriller!_

_Thriller night!_

_So let me hold you tight_

_And share a_

_Killer, thriller!"_

With one last howl, Brock exploded into a pool of blood and guts. The Strange Man turned to Frank and Isabela, bowed his head, and tauntingly flicked his hat off and slid it back on coolly. Then with another whirl of his hips and calves, he thinned and vanished with a spark of light.

_**I'm gonna thrill you tonight**_

And then Frank West and Isabela Keyes were alone, pondering what the hell had just happened. But then Frank decided, what happened in California, stayed in California.


End file.
